John the Apostle: A Journey of Fire and Redemption
Fr. Jijo Kandamkulathy CMF
Claretian Missionaries
The Thunderous Beginning
The sun dipped behind the hills of Galilee, casting golden light upon the dusty path where John and his brother James walked beside Jesus. Their steps were quick, charged with frustration. A Samaritan village had refused them hospitality—refused the Messiah himself.
John clenched his fists, the injustice burning inside him. “Lord, do you want us to call down fire from heaven, like Elijah did? Let’s destroy them!” His voice held no hesitation.
Jesus stopped walking. The quiet stretched between them as he turned, his deep eyes searching John’s face—not with anger, but sorrow.
“John… you still do not understand.”
John felt a flicker of shame, but the fire in his chest refused to die. They had insulted the Messiah! Shouldn’t justice be swift? Shouldn’t the kingdom of God come in power?
Jesus placed a firm hand on John’s shoulder. “The Son of Man did not come to destroy lives, but to save them.”
John’s face fell, but he said nothing. This was the first time he felt it—the gentle pull of grace against his fiery nature. But understanding? That would take time.
The Ambitious Dream
Weeks later, John and James approached Jesus in secret. Their voices were hushed, urgent.
“Teacher, grant us to sit—one at your right, the other at your left—when you enter your glory.”
John held his breath, waiting for Jesus to confirm their place of honor. After all, they were his closest disciples! They had been faithful, present at every miracle, every teaching. Surely, they deserved it.
Jesus sighed, shaking his head. “Can you drink the cup I drink?”
John hesitated. He wanted greatness, wanted his name etched in history alongside the Messiah. He nodded. “Yes, Lord. We can.”
Jesus’ expression softened, but his voice remained firm. “You will drink my cup… but to sit at my right or left? That is not mine to grant.”
John felt the sting of disappointment. He was desperate to be near Jesus, to be first in the kingdom. Why couldn’t he see that?
The Foot of the Cross
Everything had crumbled. The streets of Jerusalem trembled under the weight of mourning.
Jesus was dying.
John stood near the cross, his body shaking, unable to take his eyes off his Master. Where were the others? Where was Peter? They had fled in fear.
A soft voice beside him. Mary.
She did not weep loudly, but her grief was etched into every line of her face. She watched her Son suffer, and John felt his own heart break for her.
Then, even as blood trickled from his brow, Jesus looked down at them. “Woman, behold your son.” His voice was weak but certain. Then, his eyes met John’s. “Behold your mother.”
John swallowed. Jesus was entrusting Mary to him. The weight of the moment crushed his selfish ambitions.
This was love—not fiery justice, not ambition, but sacrificial love.
He nodded, not trusting his voice, and stepped closer to Mary. He would never leave her side.
The Transformation
Years passed. John no longer dreamed of power.
Instead, he dreamed of love.
In Ephesus, he wrote to his people: “God is love.”
The same man who once asked to burn villages now urged the world to love one another. His once-thunderous nature had been refined—not erased, but redeemed.
One day, as an old man, John sat by the fire, speaking to his disciples. They wanted grand stories, but he repeated just one phrase over and over:
“Little children, love one another.”
One of them finally asked, “Teacher, why do you always say this?”
John smiled, his eyes distant, remembering the day he stood before the cross.
“Because it is enough.”
1. Redemption Over Condemnation
At the beginning of his discipleship, John wanted justice, asking Jesus if they should call down fire on the Samaritans (Luke 9:54). Jesus redirected him, teaching that redemption, not destruction, is the way of God.
Lesson: True power lies in restoring rather than condemning.
2. Humility Over Ambition
John sought positions of honor next to Jesus in heaven (Mark 10:35-37), still misunderstanding the nature of leadership. Jesus reminded him that greatness in the kingdom comes not through power but service and sacrifice.
Lesson: Leadership isn’t about status—it’s about humility and serving others.
3. Loyalty and Courage in the Face of Suffering
When other disciples fled, John remained at the foot of the cross (John 19:25-27). His steadfast presence in Christ’s darkest hour showed loyalty, courage, and love.
Lesson: Love is not just about presence in joy, but faithfulness in suffering.
4. Responsibility in Care for Others
Jesus entrusted his mother, Mary, to John—a gesture of profound trust and responsibility. This moment signified John’s maturity and readiness to care for others beyond himself.
Lesson: Love is sacrificial—it asks us to care deeply for others, not just ourselves.
5. Love as the True Mission
Years later, John wrote, “God is love.” He had been transformed entirely from the fiery disciple to the apostle of love. His final message to the church was simple yet profound: “Little children, love one another.”
Lesson: Love is the greatest commandment—it supersedes ambition, vengeance, and pride.
6. The Power of Growth and Transformation
John didn’t start as a perfect disciple, but through his experiences with Jesus, he grew, changed, and evolved. The same man who sought power and justice became one who preached mercy and unity.
- Lesson: Grace allows us to grow beyond our worst tendencies—we are never beyond transformation.
Conclusion: A Life Transformed by Love
John’s journey reflects the transformative power of walking with Christ. His failures weren’t erased—they were redeemed, shaping him into the disciple who would ultimately write about love more than any other.
© Claretian Publications, Macau
Cum Approbatione Ecclesiastica 2025
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